2024: In the Business of Lessons
PSA: This content is not intended to be motivational. Please refrain from interpreting it as such. Consumption of this material in that context may lead to unnecessary discomfort.
I originally didn’t plan to write anything here till the year ended. But it would be a gross disservice to myself if I didn’t document this. I started this year with so much anxiety and expectations, looking forward to one of the most pivotal years of my young adulthood. Twelve months later, I really cannot put into words the year I’ve had. Don’t get me wrong,I had a textbook “good year,” and I am so grateful, but there are several happenings and non-happenings that have altered my version of the year.
So, this is by no means a review of my year. I wouldn’t dare. 2024 taught me a lot of lessons, so much that a few days into the year I opened a new note and tagged it “2024: A Year in Lessons,” how prophetic because boyyy did I learn. While some were welcomed and frankly great for building my character and person, others had me in three-question-marks level of astonishment, but in all, I’m thankful.
So here goes, my big 15 lessons of 2024.
- You’re the love of your life. Treat yourself like that.
Self-criticism has always been my bag. I believe it keeps me grounded, but this year, I taught myself to reign it in from time to time. I tried to extend a bit more grace to myself especially when I was upset. Learning that I am the hardest to forgive and finding ways to resolve personal conflicts without letting it degenerate.
2. Nobody can want better for you than yourself.
No matter how well-meaning and thoughtful others are, they cannot want better than you do for yourself. If you are gunning to change the trajectory of your life, you must want things strongly, and effectively enough to make them happen. And from what I’ve heard, life truly rewards those that want it bad enough.
3. You can do hard things. You just need to bet on yourself more.
Soft babes can do difficult things. I learnt that this year, because multiple times I sat in situations I thought were bigger, more difficult than I could ever handle, but I figured them out at the end of the day. There’s capacity built in the discomfort that comes with stretching yourself, not in that moment (don’t kill me please ) but in the long run, you’re better for it.
4. The life you want is on the other side of discipline.
Nothing moves until you move it. Nothing changes unless you change it. Discipline is hard but very rewarding and there is a lot of hard work to do to get there.
5. Please ask for help. You won’t die.
Except I almost did. Almost died from the internalized shame of not being self-sufficient, the ghetto. But who truly is? Not asking for help is hustling backwards because you’re shutting yourself out of potential opportunities from the jump.
6. Believe in the power of processes.
Hmmm, this one was particularly a hard pill for me to swallow. Partly, because I can be quite impatient and fidgety when things do not happen immediately or work with my timeline.
7. There is only one life. Exhaust your aspirations.
I’ve never believed that you can only be one thing. I think that you can surely focus on one at a time, if you must but the goal should be to die empty. Take all the shots, try all the things. Do it all.
8. Do not despise your present for a future you don’t know.
I struggled with believing this myself. To be honest, it is hard to fall in love with the awkward phases of your life. The non-cutes, the very unsexy seasons. But someone once told me that every season of your life can be beautiful, because it is simply yours. Maybe not as glamorous, but beautiful. Please enjoy it.
9. Own your actions.
Make sure they are wholly yours because you will live with their consequences. Nothing I have hated more in life than repercussions of a decision I wasn’t fully onboard with but I still took. It makes me very resentful, to myself. At least when I mess up, I know it is my mistake.
- Enjoy yourself in the mundane.
Doing ground-breaking things is marvelous! But you can’t do mighty things everyday. Please learn to embrace and celebrate yourself even on the days when you haven’t done anything “special.”
- A beautiful life is not stumbled upon. It is built, brick by brick. Every day.
There is a lot of hard work to be done. I promised not to spend so much time feeling sorry for myself that I forget to put in the work and repeat the cycle again. Faith without work is dead. A thousand dreams without action is a nightmare please.
- The non-permanence of life. Nothing lasts forever.
It’s a blessing and a curse. I like to think of life in doses and this year I was particularly excited that yesterday’s misery is not tomorrow’s. Nothing lasts forever, even in bliss.
- Sometimes you’re wrong as hell. Yes, your intuition is strong but you’re not infallible.
- Protect your mind from pessimism.
Hope is a drug and if you’re living in Nigeria starting out life just like I am, you need to up your dose. Please never run out of hope and belief in yourself and your dreams.
- Fail now.
One thing about me, I will try a new thing and when I realize it is not working out, I will try something else. It will hurt like mad (like when I realized I couldn’t recreate the Chiefdom) but you will cross out yet another possibility.
2024 deeply unnerved me. It challenged the very core of my self-perception. This year forced me to come face-to-face with emotions and wrestle with thoughts and opinions I have never confronted. I found myself standing in the raw discomfort of self-truths. I felt all my emotions strongly this year, every last one of them. I don’t truly know that I am better for it, but I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn. What a year!
